The Secrets of a Full Night Sleep

I've spent a large majority of my thinking time (driving, waiting for my computer to boot up or print) pondering what the secret is to a full night of sleep.

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I slept for 8 hours.

I'm trying to figure out the difference so that I can keep on getting a full night's sleep. Here are a few differences between my 2.5 to 3 hr nights and last night:

1. Read a short story instead of watching a YouTube video or tv shows online.
2. Closed my curtains.
3. Put a privacy sign on my door handle.
4. Put my phone on silent.
5. Shut my bathroom window and shut my bathroom door.

And it's not that I have less stress or less things going on. I actually have quite a lot right now. My water heater is broken so I don't have hot water. There are some Talent and Talent Business events that are scheduled where I have one or more in a day throughout the week. This, along with my full time support job. And I've been keeping up with friendships and meeting up for hikes or coffee or movies and various things.

We're also planning on having out of town guests this weekend. It all depends on whether my nephew has chicken pox or if it's something else. (I've never had chicken pox. Don't ask me how, but I never have.)

So with all of that, what is it? What's the secret? I think I'll have to ponder a little more. But it feels good to be moving in the right direction. One of my goals for the year (as of September 20th) is to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night regularly. Wouldn't it be wonderful if zzzzzzzzzzz.z.z..z..z...z....z.....

3 AM

Frak, Frak, Fudge? Hmmm....Fiddlesticks... caaaaaan't sleeeep!

Happy Lunar New Year!

Xin Nian Kuai Le! As they say in Mandarin Chinese.

Or, Happy New Year! Happy Chinese New Year! Happy Lunar New Year! Happy Year of the Ox!

It's just a new, New Year! Yay! Fresh start!

That's all for now.

Hee hee.

A Fresh Start

It doesn't much feel like the holidays. Is it the lack of snow that I'm so used to associating with this season? Or it's that in growing older the mythology that comes with the holiday season is no longer mysterious or mythic? Maybe it's just that this year was meant to be low key throughout?

Nevertheless, I do enjoy the idea of Boxing Day. So what if it's Canadian? Just the idea of boxing things up, putting things away, "Spring Cleaning" as such -- even if it is the dead of winter. There's something to be said for clearing out the clutter. For putting things away that we no longer need for now. Making sure to dust off and keep what's important and appreciate those things as well.

Although I hate cleaning, isn't it true that a clean and organized house does make a person feel so much better? Not just physically, but spiritually as well. It's a fresh start and everyone deserves a fresh start.

So, for the end of the year, my goal is to clean out my closet. Yes, to clear out the things that have been in the shadows for so long. To let things go so that new things are allowing to come into my life. And those "things" don't have to be material.

In the past, letting go and letting live lifted the load I'd been carrying on my shoulders. And actually, once I let those "things" go it lifted the load off of my physical frame as well. A nice perk.

In the present, the hard part is figuring out what is is that I need to let go. What it is that I'm holding on to? Not seeing what is right in front of my face is a specialty of mine. (I don't say that proudly, it's just a fact.)

It's a challenge that I both look forward to and abhor. It's terrifying and exhilarating. It's choosing to live instead of letting life go numbly by (guilty of this as the next person. And, it requires unplugging and being present in the world.

The New Year is always great for that. I have a friend who years ago told me he was going to spend his New Year in silence. Literally unplug. At midnight he would unplug his clock, his lights, his phone, his television, his radio and all his other power items. The only thing he would leave plugged in is his refrigerator and he would put aside a watch so that he knew when it was midnight again. For 24 hours he would be in silence. He wouldn't talk to anyone or listen to music or watch TV. Basically, a silent retreat.

It's appealing isn't it? Sometimes I turn on the noise because in silence the noise of my own thoughts is shattering. Shattering to my way of being. To my soul and to my spirit. To my life. You want to know what the funny thing is? It always turns out that if I face the silence I'm more whole than I've ever been. There's the irony. The shattered pieces are pieces that I didn't need. And so they're cleaned up and I get a fresh start. I love the fresh start.

The Rarest Angel

I look over. What's that? A lone golden helium balloon has been attached to the Christmas tree. At the top. Ha ha. An attempt from my sister at trying to decorate the top of the tree.

Flashback to a month and a half ago. Shoppers everywhere. It's a madhouse. I'm at Michael's looking for tree toppers. There are some beautiful angels. Really. Great fabric dresses and gorgeous craftsmanship. There is only one problem. The angels are blonde. After looking there I go to Linen's N Things and Target and it's the same thing. Blonde, blonde, blonde. Are there no brunette angels? Is there a rule that brunette's can't be angels?

I tell my sister and she says I'll have an easier time finding African American angels than finding a black haired angel. Ha! I say. I'll find one!

No I won't. It's 3 days before Christmas. Searching Amazon and the web has proven my sister to be right. All the angel toppers with black hair are African American and the rest are Blonde, Blonde, Blonde.

I'm getting frustrated and actually upset. Upset over a stupid tree topper that is supposed to be a happy, joyful thing. The true meaning of this season is not about anger or "things" -- it's about gratefulness, grace, and celebration of life, right? So why am I expending energy on getting upset because angels don't have black hair?

This is the argument I've had with myself. To the point that I've given up. My tree will remain angel free until that rarest of all angels makes its way to me somewhere, sometime in life.

Until then, the gold helium balloon adds a little humour to the whole tree and it makes me smile when I see it. For those who celebrate--A very Happy Christmas. For those who don't--A very Merry New Year.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's 1:30 AM and I can't sleep because I'm worrying about the turkey tomorrow morning. I've prepared one before but I have a history of mixing the kitchen and fire and food so...I'm a little worried.

But I can change that worry can't I? Just realize that I'm grateful for having a kitchen and fire and food. It's freezing some places and foodless some places and homeless some places. So, really, there's nothing to worry about but a lot to be thankful for.

And then I see leaping flames in front of my eyes and that all goes away.

How do you worry about a turkey? It's not even a big turkey. Like 8 pounds. And when I went to go buy it the guy at the store said, oh, a really small turkey, almost a chicken. And I said, "Yes" and nodded my head shyly in shame.

And then I think, well, it's small, what happens if it goes up in flames? Then there won't be much left to eat. Maybe I should have gotten a bigger one so that if it gets set on fire then at least that part can be cut off and I can try over again with the rest of it....Or does it not work like that?

I'm glad the fire station is only a few blocks away. It makes me feel safer. That, and my big bag of baking powder and baking soda to put out grease flames. You think I'm joking. Yeah, that's what a lot of my friends think too. For awhile at least. There is always hope. That why I keep trying. You can't burn food forever right? If you keep trying you just have to get better from the practice...right? Right? Anybody? Hello? Okay, I'll just go to bed.

Say Cheese

I just got back from one of the most up to date weddings ever. They had a photo booth. Yes, a photo booth! And it took 4 photos and gave 2 copies of those 4 photos. One for the scrapbook of the Bride and Groom and one for the guests to keep.

Another thing they did was have business cards on the table asking all the guests to share their photos by uploading them to the married couple's Flickr account. I've never seen that before either. How smart.

There was also a groom's cake to go with the wedding cake. The groom's cake was a Nintendo theme and was really cool.

Some really great ideas from a really great and cool couple. I wish them all the best. And now, it's time for some sleep.