Not a word has been said. I've told one person today and everyone else only knows because they already knew. It's not on my Facebook. No prompting reminders. It helps to see things a little clearer.
So what's the big deal? No big deal. I'm just one among thousands if not millions who grow another year older today. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Conflicting feelings of mortality and excitement and dread. But then I realize attitude has everything to do with how quality of life plays out even if my quantity is diminishing. And isn't it diminishing for everyone every second that passes?
"Everyone's dying," my friend says.
Yes. That's true. And how ironic that sometimes it's those that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness that then choose to live. Really live. Is that what it takes?
A friend and I talked for an hour on Thursday about how we juggle so many things. She's a mother of two and has a husband, a part time day job and is working on her career as an actor.
We talked about investing energy and time in your spouse first before the children because the energy you put into your relationship with your partner will help with your relationship with your children. But the time and energy you pour into your children can't help with your relationship with your spouse because they're children and they will take as much time and energy as you can dish out. They're helpless.
The funny thing is that we think we should pour the time and energy we have into our children first - before our spouses precisely because they are helpless and our partners aren't.
We talk about these things. The everyday lives we live while we dream of others we could possibly have.
I thought I'd take a break from my everyday life on my birthday and use it as a gift to serve others. Do some community service.
But schedules collided and it's not happening this year. Instead, I am enjoying it by the minute.
No expectations. Just being present in the now. In the second. Enjoying the feeling of typing on a keyboard now. And now. And now.
Little joys have been making my day special today. And it has helped me to realize that I'm learning to enjoy the day in the little things. Be happy where I am in the little moments. Which, in turn, makes me think about the overall picture of life.
What would happen if I did that with life? Enjoyed the everyday life I live instead of waiting to enjoy the dream that I hope is coming? Is it really possible? Maybe. It's a challenge I'm willing to take on today. For this second yes. Tomorrow? Well,I can't decide for tomorrow if I'm really choosing to enjoy this moment by moment. Because...as Scarlet O'Hara said best "Tomorrow is another day."
No comments:
Post a Comment