You've got company

uch!"

"Oouuuccch"

"Okay, Ow"

*sigh*

"Do I really have to?"

and the answer, like good improv, is always "Yes, and"

These are the voices in my head as I keep on smacking into and slowly knocking down the walls that mark my boundaries of comfort. A lot has been going on lately in a bunch of different parts of my life. All at the same time. I feel a little bruised and worse for wear but the things that I'm learning and all the leaps and little steps forward are worth it.

I'm a big believer in "only do one hard thing at time" but sometimes what you believe and what you do (because of what life throws at you) don't exactly match.

Here are some of the things I've learned:

1. It takes a lot of energy. Energy to keep calm, to keep moving forward and not go running, screaming in the other direction pulling your hair out in panic and fear.

2. Thinking isn't always a good thing. Sometimes thinking makes you neurotic or it makes you into an insomniac. Doing is much better.

3. Courage is only the state of being so afraid of fear and it's effects that you move to do the opposite of that fear. Let me re-word that. It's being more afraid of what fear will make you into or what will happen if you let the fear take hold than of what you're fearing.

4. When your comfort zone is being ...let's say stretched...it's easy to get overwhelmed by things that normally be a challenge but you could handle.

Here are some other practical things that I've learned:

1. If you're lactose intolerant, you're only lactose intolerant to pasteurized milk. Raw milk has all the stuff in it that helps you digest.

2. There's such a thing as skim and fat free raw milk.

3. Raw milk is regulated in the State of California and safe for ingesting and good for the digestion.

4. Nuts and seeds need to be processed at low temperatures if or they lose a lot of their original nutrients. Kinda like pasteurized milk.

5. Olive oil has a low smoke point.

6. Olive oil is why I set fire to my food all the time and why I had to get renters insurance in college because I always set off the smoke alarm and the reason why I always have baking soda nearby when I cook and why everything burns. (Okay, maybe this was not so practical but I threw it in anyway.)

7. Coconut oil and Ghee (clarified butter) have high smoke points and make my place smell like coconuts when I cook. :)

8. Not all vitamins are equal.

9. It's better to eat the whole egg. Eating egg whites alone actually isn't as healthy as eating the yellow and the white because the yellow has in it the necessary stuff to digest the white part properly.

10. F*** your fear and follow your foot.

11. There are a lot of weird characters on MySpace.

12. Sometimes 1 minute isn't as long as you think it is.

13. Working for what you want is hard work even when you like it and it's even more work when it's not your fault.

14. Always go inside to the cashier to pay for gas. Never pay at the pump if you don't want your credit card to be used to buy over $300 worth of clothes in the Middle East and another 300 dollars worth of purchases for telecommunications stuff online in the Middle East.

Fraud Alerts on TransUnion, Experian, and the other credit check place can prevent people from trying to open up even more credit cards with the information they stole from your original credit card that you used at the gas pump.

15. Learning to use cash only when you've grown up using credit cards and when money is tight is a balancing act.

16. Sometimes rejection is a good thing. It could be a blessing in disguise.

17. Make sure you have good neighbors. It keeps you from a future of headaches.

In pushing boundaries on more than one side at the same time it's easy to find oneself focusing so intensely on the one thing you're doing at the moment that the world around becomes background noise.

I don't notice as much about the people around me and I'm not as perceptive. I hate that. Because when you're struggling to get to the surface for a breath of air it's good to know if you find yourself next to a shark or next to a lifeboat.

Optimistically? If you find yourself next to a shark at least you've got company.