19 December 2005

Blew apart my Wildest Dreams

I have a new love.


As a child along with turtles and dinosaurs, seahorses fascinated me. But I recently made a trip to the Long Beach Aquarium and discovered a creature that has blown any idea of what is Earthly from my mind. It looks like something out of a movie or belonging to another planet.

I'm talking about Weedy and Leafy Seadragons. I have some actual photos from my visit (see first two below - the last photo is actually a fish...can you see it?) and bought a watercolor of it for my bathroom.

Just looking at it makes me smile, gives me hope, and is a reminder that whatever we think our world may be can easily be blown apart with the mere reminder of the existence of something that most of us (I think) would have never imagined up in our wildest dreams.







02 December 2005

Live long and learn

I'm traveling alone and I've run into a local young girl. We can't speak each other's language but somehow find a way to communicate and she shows me her village and around her part of the country when we come across a group of Western tourists, all men, who somehow got surrounded by the young girl's village hunters. They're about to get killed because traveling without a female in your midst means your there for war in this part of the world. I try to tell the villagers they're my friends and step into the group. The weapons are pulled away and the group is safe.

I wake with a start. What's really interesting is the fact that I've been thinking about traveling a lot lately. I would love to travel alone. But a woman alone in the areas I want to travel...not acceptable. The eastern part of Turkey along the border of Iran and Iraq. Parts of Africa. And other parts of the world where traveling as a woman alone is okay, just a little dangerous. So the dream ends up reflecting an opposing view of reality. There are serious considerations that I would have to take if I were to plan some trips. I'll have to wait 'til I get home and have some time to think and figure out what the dream means.

Whenever traveling to a place with a different language--the words: "please," "excuse me," "hello/good day," and "thank you" become an absolute necessity and as I learn them, they're set into memory. My goal is to learn those words in at least 27 languages before I die. So far I know 7. I'd better have a really, really long life, eh?

25 November 2005

Heaven on a bun and what we believe

Ohmigosh!!!! I just had heaven on a bun! Pastramiburger greasebucket fries from The Hat and yummmmmmmmmmm. If I were a cat I'd walk around myself twice and plop myself down for a nap. Instead, the human me has to work. *sigh*

On a different note, driving home from Thanksgiving Dinner, a few fun essays were read on NPR's "This I Believe." Each person talked about what they do believe in.

There's a fun one about the Pizza guy. Check it out:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4651531

Bye for now. Happy Thanksgiving and great holidays.

Merrily,
:)

11 November 2005

Innocent Childhood and Netflix galore

As a child, I grew up reading books, doing school stuff, playing outside, and watching television. Didn't go out to see movies much, they cost money. Didn't rent movies much...we got a VCR the year of the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles and renting cost money too.

A relatively normal childhood for a child in America or at least I thought it was a normal childhood. Sometimes what we perceive and what others perceive can differ greatly.

I perceive Netflix as an amazing concept. I don't have to leave home, and can rent movies I wouldn't usually pay money to rent but interest me an inkling. Plus, the queue factor...that's all that needs to be said.

I was adding some movies to my list when somehow it came up at work that I'd never seen Citizen Kane, or The Graduate, or Animal House, or Jaws, or The Godfather, or Taxi Driver, or Chinatown, or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...and the list goes on & on.

Horrified, my friends and co-workers starting throwing more and more movies to add to my queue. I started wondering-- what on Earth did I spend my youth doing? Where the heck did everyone else find the time to see these movies when I didn't? And, how the heck and I going to find time to watch these movies now?

My friends and co-workers now perceive my youth as anything but normal. They've got me wondering about it too. I remember dirt trails and biking thorough the neighborhoods a lot. I remember daydreaming and looking at tadpoles in the mud. But thanks to my friends, I've also found myself lacking basic knowledge of pop culture in the United States.

So,if there are any must-see films that you think I may have missed(no porn or scary movies please), feel free to comment while I search my memory for what I did with the rest of my childhood...

23 October 2005

Between a Rock and a Hive Place






Riding along the 118 freeway and exiting at the Topanga Canyon exit, a series of rocks rises out of nowhere like little teeth, or actually piles of poop in the middle of the desert.

During our group's decision to climb these rock towers, we missed two earthquakes that hit Los Angeles during the day. But nature did attack in other ways...during the last 15 minutes of climbing Scott was attacked by a bee and was stung on his forehead. (He's okay.)

Aside from the photos, we return with souvenirs of sore forearms, scraped hands, arms, heads (we forgot the helmet at home) and one bee sting.

Up next... a bigger pile of poop!

09 October 2005

I thought I was a Geek

Well, after over 7 days of staying up until the wee hours of the morning (3-4:30AM) I finally gave up on putting together my wireless network by myself. The Mac works wonderfully. (Yey Mac! "Mac or PC?"entry) No problems with the d-link router. The PC's are the problem. And printing wirelessly is a problem too. *sigh*

I used to think I was technologically minded. That I was a geek. Well, this week I found that my geekdom has found it's limits. D-link customer support couldn't help so I called in the Geek Squad. They're coming on Wednesday. How wimpy is that? That I'm such a failure as a geek that I had to call in a substitute?

*sniff*

I think I'll go shuffle over to my pile of database and work with it while I play Wei-qi/Go on my second monitor.

*sniff*

And maybe I'll put on my big framed glasses so my blind self can see what I'm doing and wipe my nose with a sleeve that's not there.

*sniff*

Or maybe I should call my friend who's been bugging me to join her die casting gaming group and join in...

...hmmm maybe I'm not a geek. Maybe I'm just a nerd.

30 September 2005

AAAARRRRGGGGH!

For National Talk Like a Pirate day a woman at work decorated her office and wore a pirate costume and sent out an office e-mail in pirate speak.

But that's not what the AAAARRRGGGGH! is for. That is in response to hours of trying to set up a home network between my Mac and two PC laptop computers. I'm overwhelmed. But my Mac now has DSL. :) It's still not hooked up correctly but I've given up for tonight.

G'night Matey!

21 September 2005

Check out the tile


Emel's in the orange
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Another set of tile


I thought this was pretty.
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Along the coast


Sharon and Alice at the waterfall


St. John's Church


Flower at St. John's Church


I've never seen these before.
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

At the Market


The small bazaar in Bodrum
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Our Boat Trip


At Cleopatra's spa


The windows from the outside


Outside looking in
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Outside the Sultan's home


A view from the outside
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Replacement Church/Mosque window


Emel and Sharon


Emel and Sharon
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

A window from the inside


A window from the inside
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

Sultan's Way of Life


Sultan's Way of Life
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

More Photos from Turkey


IMG_1699
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
I thought you all might like a few more photos. There will be more coming. This is just the first of a few.

15 September 2005

A Plan for Everything


We're driving along a patch of road that all of the sudden becomes E-X-T-R-E-M-E-L-Y wide. One lane to the right is the normal size. The lane we're in could be filled with 5 rows of cars.

Why is it like that you ask? Well, so did my sister.

"It's for the planes to land."

Planes?

You see, the Turkish have thought ahead. During wartime, there will have to be places other than runways for planes to land. So, throughout Turkey, you'll find these long strips of roadway with a reeeeally, reeeally wide lane and one narrow one.

I guess being surrounded by Iran, Iraq, and at one time, the U.S.S.R. along one border and Greece on part of the other can make you paranoid about war. Paranoid is prepared and you're grateful for it when the need arises.

Saying Good-bye or Until Later?


Istanbul
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
Turkey is full of surprises.

Architecture, natural wonders, and a lot of ruins. The food is good, the tea and coffee strong like their people, and it's not a land you can get a sense of the first time because there is so much history from so many different eras and cultures blended to form the one we know today.

I'd like to come back to Turkey someday. Maybe before it joins the European union, or maybe afterwards. But I'd like to see the parts I'd missed in the middle and on the Eastern side.

I'm told I'll have to travel with a man. It's not proper nor safe to travel with just women in that part of Turkey as it becomes more fundamentalist Muslim territory.

I'll look forward to it when and if it comes.

The Tomb of the Apostle John


The Tomb of the Apostle John
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

symmetry


symmetry
Originally uploaded by AliChen.

A Touch of Gold


Ruins of St. John's church
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
There is an ancient people called the Phrygian people in Turkey who have left behind remnants of their stay in what is now Turkey.

King Midas of the golden touch is one of the most prominently remembered Phrygian's today.

If there is one thing that I have learned on the trip, it's that Turkey is the home of the most Ancient, ancient, ancient civilizations. And more than one.

I thought I saw old things on my trip to the U.K. and Italy last year, but this place is older. So old, that in the new world we've learned some of the old stories. We just don't know where they come from.

This trip showed me just how much of it is Turkey.

14 September 2005

Bridges


The Artist with his art
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
What.
Is.
That?

I'm looking at a this contraption sitting on top of a water jug. As Emel starts pumping a light bulb shows up above my head.

In the U.S. we take the Sparkletts or Arrowhead, or "insert appropriate brand name here" water jugs, flip them over and put them into a water cooler/dispenser.

In Turkey, they don't bother with the harder part of flipping the jug. Just toss a pump on the jug while the mouth is pointed up. Sometimes I wonder why we make things harder than they have to be.

In walking through a bazaar after a boat trip I met a man who travels to the coast for the summer to sell his art. He takes a drill and etches platters, and hair clips and all different things with beautiful patterns and designs.

Both my sister and I bought one and asked him to sign the back. He offered us tea while he took his drill and signed his name.

In the winter he goes back to Iszmir (hope I spelled that right) to try to make his living there doing something else. Creating complex designs with a drill is more than enough of a skill for me, but the man's gotta eat right?

One last ingenious invention. The car shower.

All along the road sides in the rural areas where cars get extremely hot, you'll see a pole that looks like a lamp post. But instead of a lamp at the top, it's a shower head pouring out water. And you drive right under and cool your car off. It's a lot of fun and it works really well.

I'll leave you with this final story. We took a car ferry back over to Istanbul late at night. Car ferrys are nothing new but these are HUGE boats and there are some differences between them in Turkey and the U.S.

My sister, being from Seattle, climbed up to the top level of the ferry because she knew from experience that it was the best view from the boat. In searching for her a few minutes later, I traipsed right up to the top level too and found her talking with the captain while the rest of the upper level was empty.

I found it odd but there were chairs there so it was meant for people to sit right?

Wrong. The top level is for captain and crew only. We were only allowed to stay because we were visitors from a different country (and, I think, because were were Asian women.)

Emel came up a half hour later after looking all over the boat for us and not finding us at all.

She hadn't thought to look on the top level since everyone knew it was forbidden.

Everyone except the ignorant Americans of course.

There were no signs, no chains, no barricades so it was open to us.

In typing this, I actually realize that that's symbolic of the American people. It can be both good and bad. But if it leads to tea with the captain and a tour of the bridge...I'll call it a good trait for now.

Lost & Found




An underwater city
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
"Can you see anything?" **pant, pant, pant**

"No, can you?" asks my sister.

"No."
"No." answers Emel who's also in the water. We've been swimming in "The Blue Lagoon" and we've been told that there are underwater ruins somewhere in the lagoon in the direction we're swimming.

We've been swimming in this direction for a half an hour. I think we've covered 3/4th of a mile. It's actually not as bad as it sounds because the lagoon is saltwater and it helps with the buoyancy. We swam in the Aegean Sea too and it is actually very salty and buoyant but really choppy.

"Ouch! ouch ouchouchouchouch!" I've found it. I've swum into it.

It's marked with an empty 7-up bottle tied down. It's walls are in the water.

In the states we joke about an enormous earthquake happening and California falling into the Ocean.

We joke about it and we never think it will really happen.

Well in Turkey, it really did. More than once. In more than one place.

I got an infection from the scratches on my stomach. But we also took a boat out along the southern coast of Turkey and saw an entire village now underwater. The earthquake not only took the village and moved it toward the sea, but it took the sea and moved it toward the village too. The sea rose and flooded so the water level rose.

Kind of like what's happening in New Orleans.

The water is clear aqua blue and people kayak over it now. The Turkish military keeps a close eye on it from across the little stretch of sea to keep divers and swimmers from pillaging the treasures underneath.

There is a special unit of military set up for tourist sites. Emel called them tourist soldiers. I don't think this is one of them though. Tourist soldiers are there to protect the tourists. These soldiers are there to protect Turkey from the "tourists."

A lire for your Hiction?


Ruins of Ephesus
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
Turkey is where a lot of stories that I've learned growing up have taken place. It's actually surprising how much. Of course, it makes sense once you think of it...Roman Empire, the beginnings of civilization and all that...

But did you know St. Nicholas aka Santa Claus was born in Patara, Turkey? And his church (which is a tiny, cute, and very cozy place... but no snow and now elves or reindeer) is in a nearby village?

They have a statue of the traditional Santa Claus we see in advertisements, books, and movies standing in the village square and it looks very out of place.

Did you know that many people think that Atlantis is actually off the coast of Turkey?

Hey, I might have said that one already.

Noah and his Ark are supposed to have landed on Mount Ararat along the Eastern border of Turkey after the flood.

And in a museum I saw a plate that had the Sufi word Yummi engraved into the bottom. The word means happiness. So when we say something is Yummy, it's actually from way, way, back beyond your stomach and your tongue. :)


I also got to visit a place where the cave holds clay and a natural hot spring. Cleopatra was said to have visited often and put on clay masks as a beauty treatment.

It used to be free. Now it's 3 New Turkish Lire.

History, Fiction, and commerce interwoven.

Ephesus, Jesus, and stinky feet


Ephesus
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
Turkey is humid. Ephesus is especially humid. Think Mt. Rushmore in the summer. Lots of tourists. You can't really move. This picture is the first I took of the day and it was early morning. Within 30 minutes the place was packed with people and it was impossible to move without bumping into someone.

I thought I was at Summerfest in Milwaukee, only without the spilt beer.

After spending 3 hours sweltering in the sun with no shade anywhere, you'd think that washing your face would do the trick. The funny thing is, it doesn't.

What really does the trick is washing your stinking feet. Especially if you've been wearing sandals without socks.

But even if you do wear socks with tennis shoes, the dust and sand gets everywhere and washing your feet actually cools you down and makes you feel clean. Even if you can't wash your body.

No matter what your beliefs, it helps a person understand the stories about how Jesus washing his disciples' feet in the Bible was not just humbling (think of the stink) but also cleansing and refreshing.

Sounds kinda like....a toothpaste commercial?!?

Blue...er.. yellow in the face


A Church, A Mosque, A Museum
Originally uploaded by AliChen.
Emel argues in Turkish with the man at the door. We move to the side door. The next man waves his arms and exchanges sharp remarks as Emel argues back waving in the direction of my sister and me.

From growing up in a bilingual home, I've learned to get meaning from tone of voice and body language and this man does not want us in there.

Emel shoos us in anyway and says just go, forget the man, I'll tell you what he said later when we're inside.

After removing our shoes we step inside Blue Mosque. So named for the beautiful Blue stained glass inside. But the first thing that hits me is the wall of odor. The smell of sweaty feet wafts up my nostrils and makes me blink back water in my eyes. After adjusting, I'm able to focus on the lights hanging low and the comings and goings of the mosque as well as the amazing beauty of the architecture and stained glass.

As we sit, Emel whispers that the man did not want to let us in. He said that visitors weren't allowed at prayer time. She told them we weren't visitors...we were Chinese (even though we're Taiwanese-American). I'm not sure how that made sense...but he let us in.

Life in the Fast Lane


Driving in Turkey is a little like a race track. Sometimes there are no lines on the street guiding you. Sometimes there are. Most of the time it doesn't matter because the drivers make their own lines whether or not they're there.

Formula One Racing was going on the first day I was in Turkey, but I saw more action on the public roads.

27 August 2005

Goats, Rocks, and a two-car Garage

Turkey has a long and rich history that keeps popping up in modern day without expecting it. In the process of building a subway in Istanbul, workers came across the remains of an old ship dated back to the Byzantine era. It was quite a find and people realized that what is now land was once sea.

Turkey is actually a lot like Greece except it's cheaper. The cost of living is pretty equivalent to what you'd spend in the U.S. and places I'd often associated with Greek culture: Sparta, Troy, Olympus are actually in Turkey. My sister pointed out that at one time it actually may have been part of Greek culture because the Ottoman Empire covered all of that land.

I've found that the Turks are very friendly. They have no problems going up to strangers and touching them as if they know them. Our hostess and tweaked many cheeks on many children who had no idea what just happened as she just walked past. People grab shoulders and have long conversations with the people that they've asked directions from.

This is a borrowed computer so I have one more larger story and I'll end it for today. I'll have to finish the blog when I return from my trip but I've made lots of notes so it'll stay fresh.

This is the story of Kardak. Kardak is a little island a little larger than the size of a two car garage. It has no greenery or life on it. It's just rock and it's located off of Bodrum in the Aegean Sea. Kardak belongs neither to the Turkish nor to the Greek because it's not really worth owning. But about 7 to 8 years ago a Greek fisherman went to Kardak on his boat and dropped off a few goats after planting a Greek flag in the rock.

A Turkish soldier spotted the flag and Bodrum was automatically lined with soldiers and troops. The roads were repaired so the tanks could come through and the Greeks, seeing the Turkish army lining their coasts with armory began doing the same off the coast of Greece facing Turkey across the Sea. The Navy boats were lined up, the Air Force was ready to go and the tanks were pointing their guns toward Greece. Our host's mother owns a summer home in Bodrum and they were notified to stay away because they didn't know if they were going to be invaded by Greece.

Turkey and Greece were literally on the edge of war. The United States stepped in and asked each side to please keep the peace and removed the Greek flag from the island along with the Goats because they were dying since there was nothing to eat or drink on the little island. And with that, both sides backed down and ended the possible war.

The Greek fisherman became a huge hero in Greece but cost three governments a lot of headaches, millions of dollars/lire and a lot of wasted time.

What a way to become a hero, eh?

22 August 2005

Istanbul




Fınally got to an internet cafe. I don't know when this wıll happen again because my sister's friend ıs very controlling of where we go and what we do. She is currently sleepıng and has no idea I'm not at the hotel or I'm sure she'd freak.

Because of worldwide turnout for Formula 1 ıt ıs extra safe rıght now. So Jenn, tell your mother not to worry. And ıf my own parents read this by some mıracle, it may gıve them some comfort. The Turkısh Army is everywhere checkıng security and making sure everything is safe.

My geography ıs very poor--as many of you know--so ıt was wıth a HUGE light bulb goıng off that I realized why I was so confused as to how to categorize where Turkey was located. It's actually split between two contınents: Europe and Asıa. The ancestry ıs actually very Asıan. Attilla the Hun has descendants here. And my sıster and I are really bıg curıosıtıes. I've never experienced this.

In Western countries where there aren't a lot of Asıans I get stared at--but usually ın a very unwelcoming way. Here, there ıs a fascination wıth Asıans...the Japanese especially, that I cannot explain. We are stared at wıth awe and flırted wıth by boys and men. The curıosıty ıs very welcoming and flatterıng. On a ferry trıp to see Istanbul, a teenage boy suddenly sat next to my sıster so he could get a photo wıth her as if it were a dare. And on that same trip a sıster and brother around 10 and 7 years old started--shyly at first--then excitedly, questıonıng me ın Turkısh. They were fascinated wıth my sunglasses and my dıgıtal camera even though a lot of Turkısh people have them. I have no ıdea why.

Istanbul has ıt's share of the very rıch and the very poor. Not unlike any large country but I think the extremes are larger. Two examples:

1. In driving from the aırport, I saw several families...mostly chıldren lıvıng on the dıvıders between the freeways. I am not exaggerating. Imagine as you drive eıther on or off the ramps seeıng families ın the green ınbetween.

2. My sıster's frıend tells the story of a burglar who broke ınto an apartment and was ınteruppted by the Apartment manager while carryıng a bıg safe down the stairs. He dropped the safe and took off wıth over 400,000 New Turkısh Lıre that ıs about 400,000 US dollars. But the amazing thing was when the Polıce opened up the safe they found over 200 bıllıon worth US dollars ınsıde. Cash.

I'll let you ponder that one for awhile.

17 August 2005

Trippy Travel Tips



In packing and getting ready for this trip, I was reminded of a few things that helped me out on my previous trip and I thought I'd share them with you travelers out there:

1. www.ekit.com - of all the travel resources, this was the most useful to me when traveling Europe last year. It's run by Rail Europe.

My family was able to call a free access number and leave me voicemail messages that I could access with a free access number from the Czech Republic/UK/Italy/Taiwan/Japan. It was AWESOME! My dad also e-mailed me and there was a computerized voice that read the e-mail over the phone to me since I wasn't able to get to the local library to access the free internet all the time.

I just found out about their free travel vault. I'm going to keep a copy of my passport and all my important information there. ekit has it set up so you can have your stored documents faxed anywhere with a phone call if you need it. It truly is the ultimate travel resource. Especially if you're hopping all over and don't have an itinerary but still want to check-in every once in awhile.

2. Turkey is actually not the safest place to be right now and I need to be aware of the risk. I'd heard it from friends, but reading the US Consulate's emotionless matter-of-fact descriptions of what happened just last month in many of the places we're scheduled to visit... gave me pause. Check travel warnings before you go anywhere.

3. Pack like you're going on tour. An old roomie who did a lot of touring as an actor taught me how to pack. I'd learned one technique from other former roommates who were flight attendants but the tour packing outshines everything I'd learned. I have so much more room with minimum wrinkles and everything is accessible. No, it's not about rolling or vacuum packing into Ziplocs. It's actually using your suitcase as a shelf and then there's all this extra room to lay things on top. The photo above actually shows 3 pairs of shoes and 12 tops and bottoms along with underwear, socks, plastic bags, sundries, and 3 books, a bunch of gifts and more.

4. Check with my Medical Insurance before I leave to see if I'll be covered overseas. This makes sense, but in my last minute rush to pack and try to get everything done before leaving it almost went out the window.


There you go. Not much, but something, eh? 3 days and counting. 2 days if you don't count the day I leave. Sheesh. I still don't feel ready. Hope to blog while I'm over there but I think I'll be at the mercy of the schedule set up by our hostess so I'm not sure how much internet access I'll get.

14 August 2005

Panic!

Five days and counting...and not packed yet! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!

11 August 2005

The Changing of the Guard

Today is a milestone day in the circles of Center Theatre Group: The Ahmanson Theatre, Mark Taper Forum, and Kirk Douglas Theatre, where I work. Gordon Davidson, Founding Artistic Director for around 37 years, is holding his last opening night for the last show of his last season here.

It still bewilders me that this man, with all the normal flaws of a human being, gave so much of his life and created this amazing organization and has guided it to where it is today.

It is the passing of an era. I have great respect for him and the responsibility he's accepted all these years.

For the six years I've worked here, I've seen him carrying heavy bags in each hand as he walked almost every day leaving him a little stooped, but it never overshadowed the spark in his eye that made him seem to stand straighter and move more air around him than a man of his size normally would.

To me, he is proof that one person can have an enormous effect on the world around them. And you don't have to be perfect.

And as with any organization there are always good and bad things that come with the changing of the guard. Pain and joy. Bitter and Sweet. Love and Hate. I'll leave it at that.

06 August 2005

No Words


I took my first Malaria pill yesterday. Possible side effects include blurred vision and difficulty operating a vehicle or dangerous machinery. Good thing I live in Los Angeles where you have to drive to get everywhere, eh?

I also found out yesterday that it doesn't guarantee that I won't get Malaria. Unfortunately, my sister and I will be traveling to Turkey during Mosquito season so my chances are a bit higher.

On a wholly different note, Nick Magee's funeral is 11AM on Monday. He was a young man I had the privilege of working with as a Youth Leader. Ever the consummate rebel, he met the stereotype of the typical P.K. (Pastor's Kid.)

He was the passenger to a drunk driver and they had an accident at Beverly Glen Canyon and Sunset Boulevard. The road winds and is lined by beautiful mature trees which shade the road. I've driven the road twice in the past two days. One tree along that road stands looking innocent. If it weren't for the line of records, flowers, various memorabilia, and a teddy bear decorating it's trunk you would never think it witness to a deadly accident.

It doesn't seem real yet. It never does until the funeral. I guess that's part of the reason we have them. But as I leave, I expect blurred vision and difficulty operating a vehicle or dangerous machinery won't be too far behind.

28 July 2005

Bittersweet

I feel sick to my stomach. During my ten minute break at work I had to send another set of flowers. This is my fourth set this week. All have been for funerals. Four people dying within a week. In Africa or Iraq or many Third World Countries this would be nothing new. But I feel like someone's sitting on my chest.

Yesterday, I found out that one of the youth I used to work with (I was a Youth Leader for 3 years for those who don't know) died in a car accident on Sunset Boulevard. He was a passenger, he was 20 years old, and he was the Pastor's son.

The other three deaths consisted of 2 fathers of friends and one younger brother. Only one was expected.

I wish I had something wise and wonderful to say right now but truly nothing seems appropriate. The standard response I get from people, "It just makes you realize you should tell people how much you love and appreciate them while you have time because you never know..." although true, it just doesn't seem to do justice to the magnitude of the lives lost and the answer seems to be too pat.

All I can do is to take in the shock, continue to try to move on, and take solace from the responses of the friends who have lost their loved ones.

Pete said they expected 200 people at his younger brother's funeral and over 500 showed up. The outpouring of love from his brother's community of friends and family was wonderful and gave a lot of comfort.

Sandy said that she got to meet family members that she'd never gotten to meet before and it was good.

There's a lot to be said for bittersweet.

Bittersweet, although never fun, tends to make up a majority of the little bits life we remember and cherish the most.

If there has to be bitter...let there be some sweet to go with it.

Dogs, Turkey, and the Best Invention Ever


"Happy Stay!"

I close the door on the dog's face, walk a few steps, and open the another door that leads to the kitchen.

"Okay Moxie!"

A short little energetic dog wobbles inside wagging his tail furiously.

This has been my week. The dogs have been at each other's necks...literally. Happy took a clamp on Moxie's neck on Monday and he's wounded. So now my week consists of keeping them separate and trying my best to keep house time even between them. It's definitely a balancing act.

I'm dog-sitting two dogs for a week at my friend's home and have been away from blogging because my new apartment doesn't have electricity yet. But, all of my stuff except for kitchen stuff and shoes have already been moved over. (I'm working on an old IBM. I mean ooold, so if I cut off you'll know why.)

I wasn't sure whether or not I had set up my electricity to start on August 1st or the 15th but just before this, I learned that it was indeed the 1st so right after my week of dogsitting I can actually work into the night organizing my new place instead of trying to work by crankshaft flashlight and getting tired of trying and going back to my old place. And most of all, the best invention ever! Air Conditioning!

My mind has been churning. As I peel away the plastic from the Turkey Ham deli meat, I remind myself that Turkey is only 2 weeks away. I've not packed. I'm not even ready in any shape, way or form other than my Malaria medication and my Visa.

Organize my home.
Pack for Turkey.
Scramble like crazy to get to the airport.

I think that's what my week will be. What am I doing? Where is all my time going?!? Panic ensues!

Remember to breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Okay. Moving is nothing new. In the 12 years between high school through after University I'd moved 13 times. It's just a bit different now. It's been awhile.

The computer's flashing funny errors at me. And..

15 July 2005

Turkey, Harry Potter, Transition or Bust



We have funeral processions every once in awhile downtown near where I work. The thing that strikes me most about them is the sense of nobleness that is projected. I don't know if it is the truth about these men and women who die in the line of duty because I don't know the details of their deaths...but every time one occurs it reminds me to reflect on transitions and on both the value and the lack of value we put on life. To look past the traffic to the person who's being mourned and celebrated.

Why do we wait until someone dies to celebrate their life? Or do we wait? Maybe that's what birthdays and weddings and anniversaries and bon voyages are for.

How do we keep our heads above water when big transitions happen? I'm trying to figure that out. I'm thinking it's the little things but what a spry and perfect sounding answer with no backing! Anyone have an answer?

I'm looking forward to Turkey. The trip begins on August 19th (just 2 days before the Grand Prix -- as my sister and I found out yesterday as we tried to book our flight.)

In my head I have this list:
0. Get excited about getting the new Harry Potter book.
1. Move apartments
2. Host Book Club (and read the book of course.)
3. Pack for Turkey

If I think about anything above and beyond these three things I get overwhelmed and paralyzed and then nothing gets done. Then I remind myself that my life is not about checked off lists. In fact, I hope no-one's life is about checked off lists. That would be disappointing wouldn't it?

I'll take my moments with God, family, friends, silence alone, any time traveling, and those warm moments curled up watching Hikaru No Go or reading a book. *hee hee*

11 July 2005

Roger That

I have a confession. I've been eavesdropping on total strangers conversations. I couldn't help it. It was mesmerizing.

 I'd just purchased a pair of 10 mile range walkie talkies for my sister's camping trip. But, she purchased her own. So last night I went through the instructions to figure out how they worked. I hit the scanner button and came across a bunch of guys talking on channel 18. And I listened.

It reminded me of a time when I was 4 and my sister was 5 and we were with the neighbor boys at their house playing. David, 6, had a CB walkie talkie and my sister started talking to all the truckers pretending she was a grown up. Looking back, they could probably tell she was a kid by her high squeaky voice. But in my mind it was forbidden and dangerous because at any moment I expected an adult to come in and find out what we were doing and yell at us.

This was just a bunch of guys talking about appropriate radio etiquette. "No, your call sign is only for announcing yourself at the end of a conversation. Some guys do it at the beginning and the end of a conversation, but I just think that's a waste of time." "So, if my family gets on the radio with me, do they use my call sign? or should they get their own?" and so on, and so on, and so on. It was really nothing that should be interesting, but like some people who get caught up in their front hallway monitors to see who goes in and out I was caught up wondering if these guys realized they were being listened to. And what would happen if I just started talking? Would they get mad?

 I hit a few buttons on my walkie talkie to see if it would make any noise and they would catch on but nothing happened and I didn't have the guts to actually say something. So I just listened. In a way it's like reading blogs isn't it? Your audience may be specific, but you open yourself to other people reading what you write. Anyone from anywhere.

I remember someone telling me as a child that I was too curious. Sometimes I wonder if that is a compliment or a condemnation. All I can say in response right now is, "Roger that."

09 July 2005

The Absence of Movement


I am literally staring at a postcard of London posted on the backboard of my cubicle at work. It has an image of Big Ben with a double-decker bus in the foreground, a Royal guardsman, and a bridge along the Thames.

I was driving up from San Diego to pick up my Dad at LAX when I heard about the bombings on the morning of the 14th.

Later in the morning after being a little snippy towards my family my father mentions in Taiwanese that I'm not in a good mood.

Me: "No, I'm not. The news this morning about London upset me."

Dad: "Why did it upset you?"

Me: "It just did."

But in my head I'm thinking... Why does it NOT upset you? Shouldn't the horror of what happened upset everyone? Isn't that what it is to be human?
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe being human means coping by numbing yourself to anything that doesn't have to do with your immediate physical world within a span of a few miles. I hope not. But we humans are an odd bunch aren't we? All types. That's what makes us adaptable as a species.

For my friends in London I can only say that I'm speechless and enormously sad that the world has come to this. My heart goes out to you and your community. And I'm sure those who have seen horrors...those in Rwanda,other parts of Africa, Iraq, Jerusalem, Palestine, New York, North Korea, Ireland, China, Sarajevo...all sympathize with you.

In the midst of everything we move forward.

"We remember most the moments of abrupt stillness. Where the world seems to stop. For a second, a minute, or an hour. This is what draws our attention. Because we are a people of movement. It is not the movement that defines our lives. It is in the absence of movement where it is defined."

That's a paraphrase of a thought taught in during actor training. I'll leave this posting with that thought and let you make your own comments.

06 July 2005

Getting the Red Out

I feel better. This weekend after walking through sawdust and trying to avoid hundreds of people eating corn on the cob and greasy foods at the Del Mar County Fair I walked into an air conditioned, quiet exhibit of Art and Photography.

I like art, but I especially like GOOD photography (bad photography doesn't do anything for me. I see bad photography every time I look at my own photos) because of the stories they tell, the emotions they evoke, the point of view and the beauty of the world they can show. I find myself staring of photos going..."Wow, I've never looked at that thing that way before"; or "That's beautiful, I didn't know it could be that beautiful"; or "I want to know more about that story."

Contests are great because there's a hodge podge of all kinds of photography. You get photojournalism but you also get pictures of flowers or architecture. It was great looking at the blue ribbons all the way down to the honorable mentions and also a few that didn't win any prizes.

It has renewed my sense of the beauty of the world and the beauty within humanity. Both God made and man made. Because how can you create and see such great, interesting, and aesthetically pleasing work unless there's beauty within you too right?

A great website is www.photo.net. It used to be my home page but blogger took its spot.

Now, if only I could figure out how to take the red out of the retinas on most of my own photos. *sigh*

03 July 2005

A Little Hope Goes A Long Way

When did we get so screwed up? I can't fathom why the world we have developed as a society is so outrageously inhumane. It seems as if this past month I learn about some new horror every week. I'm not talking about serial murders or crimes committed in the cities. Although, they are horrible. I'm talking about genocide and gross inhumanities.

I just finished watching Hotel Rwanda this afternoon. My heart broke. Between Rwanda, Iraq, and North Korea and then the history of humankind having event after event of this kind over and over again. It's a wonder we're still here.

I daydream about being able to save more, or even being able to talk sense into those who are killing: the suicide bombers, the extremeists from the wars, the soldiers of North Korea who don't know any better.

I daydream about being able to break the tedium with something surprising: Bunches of Sunflowers and Lavendar colored flowers admist green foliage for those men and women in the desert who are used to the color of dust and clay and sand. Booming explosives that don't end in destruction and death but instead, harmless yet brilliant sparks of celebration that fill the sky with beauty and awe and a reminder of the Fourth of July. Freedom and Independence.

I daydream about Rainforests and Icecaps that aren't disappering into nothingness while people either don't care; care but don't know what to do; or care and yet their cries fall upon deaf ears, blind eyes, and minds that are swirling with all the problems and troubles of their own lives that they choose not to take in one more thing. One more thing they feel they cannot control.

I daydream about not being one of these people and yet I know I am. It pains me to know this and pains me worse to accept it.

The idealist within me sees a future where there's hope. There's change. The realist within me knows that people hate change. We adapt but not without crying, whining, making it more painful than it should be, or fighting it with our last breath. And to make the change that's needed to become a world where this rant isn't pertinent or valid would be inconvenient to the lives of most and thus it won't come.

I don't know which will win. I hope it's the first. A little hope goes a long way.

30 June 2005

My friend Myracris and Recipes for Crying


"I am RESISTANT TO TECHNOLOGY! I will NEVER have my own blog!" she yells. Myracris (her photo is above with her little girl and her husband) is sitting right next to me as I type this and she said these words not 2 minutes ago. I'm here to show here how easy it is and how wrong she will be once she travels or goes to her reunion and realizes the easiest way to share pictures or thoughts with her family will be the blog.

"NO!" she's saying. Well, time will tell my little Canadian friend. O CANADA! It's almost Canada Day.

We just cried over a bunch of Blogs and e-mails. We really are pathetic. This is our idea of spending fun, quality, friendship time together!

You want to know what we were crying over? Go to my Links and read John's Blog and look in the archives in May and read about his mom and North Korea. Then go to the Iraq blog of Robert and read Essay 16 about a woman who is his antithesis. Then, read the rest of this blog where I'll post an article that was originally published in a newspaper somewhere but is now making e-mail rounds.

Ben Stein's Last Column...
============================================
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is "eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started. I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars.

I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit,and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.


Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.

How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model? Ral stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails.

They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer. A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit , Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.

A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad . He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament...the policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive; the orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery; the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children; the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse. Now you have my idea of a real hero.

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin...or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years.

I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.


Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will.

By Ben Stein

Messy room, messy mind?

Why is it that whenever life gets busy my room reflects it? My bedroom looks like a storm passed through. My desk is cluttered with papers, discs, receipts, tapes and books. The web of unorganized piles spread like an inescapable net over everything. The more I move things around the more tangled it becomes.

You'd think I was in high school or college. But it's just life.

There are moments of procrastination and stress where I organize and clean, but for the most part my room reflects my life. I've heard from other people that their rooms are the same too. Now, if I could only get that pile of holiday letters sitting on the floor under the table done. They're 3 years late...

26 June 2005

Doctor, Doctor, Doctor




I have an inferiority complex. Not about being short (I'm used to that.) Or being clumsy (Feldenkrais classes are helping.) Or being stupid (I embrace those moments.) My inferiority complex has to do with schooling...which, by the way, is totally different from intelligence.

The months of April and June have added two more PhD's to my family. My parents and siblings are going around saying "Hello, Doctor Chen." I, on the other hand wander the streets as a regular Joe, or errr Jane with only the title -- the one of the next book I'm supposed to read for bookclub somewhere buried in my planner. I'm extremely proud of my sister and my brother. They've worked very hard and they deserve it. It's also payment for the grey hairs they've also gotten at young ages.

You got to see the sopping wet graduation of my sister so I thought I'd upload a photo of my brother's graduation. Dry. Relatively warm. Relatively sunny. ....For Minnesota. The caption should read "Doctor, Doctor, Regular Jane being dorky" but I couldn't get it to work today.

And to tell the truth, it's not really an inferiority complex. It's more like...DARN! You mean I don't get to wear the funny hat and hood and walk across the stage in a three to four hour ceremony? No. I get to sit through a three to four hour ceremony with a camera in my hand trying to take pictures of a person very far away in a funny hat and hood walking across a stage. So actually, if you think about it...it's not very complex at all.

25 June 2005

Mac or PC?

I've been a PC user for the past 11 or so years. And my poor Dell kept freezing and I would dread even turning it on because it was so slooooow. So in looking for a computer I thought I'd open up my options. Needless to say I didn't know how passionate people were. It became the unexpected Great Debate.

An example:

Innocently in the middle of playing a game of Go I bring up the mention I'm thinking about getting a computer. Should I get a Mac? or a PC?

Fellow Go Player 1: Mac! Macs are great! They...

Fellow Go Player 2: No, No, No! PC's are cheaper, they can do everything the Mac does and...

Fellow Go Player 3: But the Mac is more intuitive and they're much more fun and easier to use! They have a greater aesthetic!

Fellow Go Player 4: But PC's have so much more software and...


and thus continues the debate for a half hour while my Go game is put on hold.

My brother,in the midst of getting his Computer Science PhD votes for the PC. A friend who is a writer and a Computer Science Professor votes for the Apple. (He programs in Unix he says.)

My sister says the Mac is no longer the more intuitive computer. People at work make up things about what the Mac can and cannot do to mess with my mind. And I, on the other hand, end up only more confused and no better off than when I started. *sigh*

So what did I decide? I'm typing to you right now on a Blade Clear Cube PC. But, then again, I'm at my workplace.

Apple or PC? One's a fruit and gives me visions of home. Apple pie, Carmel Apples, Trees. The other stands for Personal Computer and gives me visions of cold unyielding plastic. When a third of my life is now spent in front of the computer, I choose home. I chose home. Even if it is might be a marketing ploy and it is just a name.

At home, I have a beautiful computer that gives a powerful VVVROOOOM!!! with a touch of the on/off button. It did take me a half hour to figure out how to open the disk drive. Other than that I love it. :)

15 June 2005

The Commencement Speaker's In the Clear

The poor guy. A member of former President Clinton's cabinet, he flew all the way to Seattle to talk and then it poured. Of course he went on and on and onandonandon and didn't shorten his speech at all. When he said "...in closing..." there was thunderous applause to go with the rain.

Sleepless in Seattle or just all wet?

O Seattle, O Seattle, Oooooh Seattle what would we do without ye? And what would we do without rain? The day I flew in for my sister's graduation it was a beautiful day...Of course I arrived at 11:30 at night. But I was told it was a beautiful day. The next two days preceded to be cloudy or pouring rain. Unfortunately, the graduation ceremony was held in an outdoor stadium and neither the speaker, the graduates, or the faculty were dressed for it. Boxes of clear plastic parkas showed up and were torn apart and empty in a matter of seconds. Literally.

A wonderful way to remember a graduation don't you think?

08 June 2005

Alice the insomniac

My first Blog ever. I didn't even know what a Blog was until about 3 months ago. A part of me thinks it outrageous to even have one. What is there about my life that is worth reading? I've always loved adventures; international and domestic. So... I figure, a trip to Seattle here...a trip to Hawaii and Turkey there and somewhere hiding in the midst of it all is a good adventure.

Some of you know me as Ali (pronounced alley puhleeeeze not aahhhlee ) and others of you know me as Alice but does it really matter either way? I'm hoping to link some of the stories and photos from my Italy, Prague, England, and Taiwan trips here too.

More to come. In the wee hours of the morning while the tip of my nose is still cool from the chill of the night and the only sounds are the keys of my Mac and the distant sound of L.A. interstate traffic in the darkness at around 2:30AM - it's time to try to figure out what to make of this Blog since sleep is obviously very, very, very far away. *sigh*