New Year, old friend

Today is the first day of the lunar new year.  The year of the Rat. And as with all new years, I'm looking back.

As I type this, a photo of a dear friend, who passed two years ago of a heart attack, is stuck to the upper right behind my monitor. And a wave of sadness passes as I realize all the adventures and travels we shared together and the absence of any future adventures.

Carlos had a wry sense of humor. It would go blue often.  He wasn't always the nicest person, but he was a caring person who tried to do good and be ethical.

He interacted with his world more than we do nowadays.  You see, Carlos didn't drive.  In Los Angeles, that's a big deal.  So he walked everywhere and took public transportation -- which brought him face to face with a lot of different people.

The people who owned the place where he got his favorite breakfast.
The people where he got his coffee.
The people who rode the bus and subway with him.
The homeless man on the street he would talk to every day as he passed him on the way to work.
The people at the laundrymat.
The people within his church.

It was amazing to see how he touched people just living his every day life.  He wasn't a celebrity or famous.  He was a normal, every day man with a college education and tons of knowledge about art and art history.  Yet, Carlos worked an hourly job and got by like many of us.  All this with sometimes crippling OCD and anxiety.

Looking back, looking forward, and looking at this moment, now... I miss Carlos terribly.   Memories of him remind me to laugh, to get my head and eyes out and into the world instead of in technology, and to connect with people face to face in spite of issues that can easily take you down.

Thank you Carlos, Happy Lunar New Year.  I miss you and I hope you're in heaven enjoying this new year in your own way.  And all I can say about the fact that you're not here is, "Oh, Rats!"  I know you'd groan at that one.  I had to say it.

You're Flexible!

"You're flexible! Kick, kick, kick!"

I'd say this line over and over to my infant niece and nephew and I grabbed their feet and brought them over their heads and then kicked their feet for them.  The response was always laughter.

Now, they're older, in their elementary school days and their bodies are still flexible and a little less flexible unless their still working on it actively.

And how interesting that this is also true of their minds.  We often stretch our bodies to keep up flexibility but don't bother to stretch our minds.  This rigidity sets in with age if not worked on actively.

Growing up an Asian American with immigrant parents -- the Asian culture was passed down strongly as we grew up.  This included the idea that IQ was a set thing (it actually isn't but changes as you work your mind or don't work your mind) and things like talent were set.  These rigid ideas often led to the idea that I was either bad or good dependent on my performance.  Instead of my actions or performance being bad or good.  Which in turn, made we afraid to perform because I didn't want to be judged as a bad or good person.  I just wanted to be a person.

It's refreshing to hear and see youngsters now being taught about having a "flexible mind" or as Carol S. Dweck of Mindset calls it, growth mindset.  Being aware of the points where our thinking is rigid is a great start.

Although it's painful for me in my adult years to bring my legs over my head -- in fact-- I can't really get close, I still stretch.  And the times I'm too tired and overwhelmed by the world and life in my older age to stretch; I remind myself of the infants that I played with and my hope for them of a healthier and more open life as they grow-up.  It's just enough to get me to stretch even one leg if I'm lying in bed and to continue to look for ways to stretch my mind and keep that growth mindset.

Flat on my Face

30 November 2018
I did it.  I failed and failed hard today. The kind of failure you only get when you actually try and go for it at a level where there is no other choice but either succeed or fail miserably.

The great thing about it is that I knew it was going to happen.  The moment I got this project it scared me to the point I wanted to turn it down but I didn't.  And no excuses. I tried to succeed. To the best of my ability, I worked on the project and worked hard.  I pushed myself and there was nervous sweat.  There were tears.  Especially as I was processing the failure.

But I am sooo proud of myself.  Really.  I've learned so much and my skills grew.  And next time, it'll be a little better.  I just have to make sure I don't squirrel in the corner to hide.  Just need to make sure there is a next time.

I feel satisfied in a way that succeeding on something that was super easy hasn't satisfied.

Don't get me wrong.  Failing sucks.  It's a blow to the ego. I feel like it's been tromped on by a child stomping and jumping up and down on it trying to snuff it out.  I don't like thinking about it.  I don't like knowing about a pending failure.  It hurts. And yet it makes us grow.

Isn't the saying, it's not about the failure.  It's about what we do with it and about it that defines us.

So, here's to laying the groundwork for success through many, many failures.  And here's to having the courage to go on despite it all.

Home Sweet Home

The long flight home was uneventful.  Thank goodness.  Back at LAX after customs

Waiting for a Lyft

After cleaning up and a short nap, there was a cast and crew screening of "UnCorked" an internet television series that I am in so we spent the evening watching.  A great way to end a long day of travel.

Home Sweet Home.

Venezia to Roma Travels

We left Venezia late and ended up on the last train to Roma.  This time taking a water taxi to get to the Venezia train station.  As I struggled to get my bag up and down the stairs of one of the bridges an Italian gentleman took the handle to help me and breezed it up and over and down without skipping a step. Quite impressive.  Grazie!

That train was delayed an hour while we sat on it.  That was okay by me because I finished reading The Martian and Mark Watley's adventures.  That book only took me three days to read during this trip.  Scott would laugh when I told him I needed to check on Mark Watley during our train trip or right before bed.

With the train delay we got in to Roma Termini after midnight and too late to catch the fast train to the airport. We ran around awhile trying to find out where the night bus was but one bus driver told us it would be better to take a taxi.  More expensive but more reliable.  We ended up at the hotel near the airport (another Mercure) and in bed by 2 AM after repacking for the States.  Our shuttle to the airport was scheduled to pick us up at 7 AM so were up by 6 AMish to get breakfast, check out and get ready for the day.

Here is a view from our hotel balcony...

 A view from the balcony into our room...

 Photos of our room

 Waiting for boarding at the Roma FCO Airport...

Last day in Venezia/Venice

We finished our trip to Venezia with a tour of the Doge's Palace.  It was raining but the inside tour was nice and dry.

The stairs up to the first room

Glorious ceilings of the palace

The armory.  The knights were my size.  I measured the ankle to the knee and it was the length of my elbow to the tip of my finger.  Then I compared it to my own leg and it matched.  They were short back then.

More of the armory

There's also a bridge from the palace to the prison across the bridge of sighs.  It gets really chilly in the prison.

Venezia Day 2

The second day was spent in Venice/Venezia instead of heading to the outer islands.  We visited the Vivaldi museum with it's plethora of interesting musical instruments...

Walked down some sidewalks that dead ended at the canal/laguna.

Tried to get a private tour of the astronomical clock from a personal reference Scott had gotten but we failed to get in touch with anyone so just a outside photo.

Our gondolier was pretty awesome.  He speaks six languages and was super nice and knowledgeable about the city.  He's lived here all his life and has been a gondolier for over 21 years.

It was raining but it was still a cool experience.  We took the short trip but it was worth it.  I noticed some gondoliers would just be on their phones the whole time not talking but our guy was interacting with us and really good.

He told us that there are over 400 bridges connecting over one hundred little islands.  Venice is not one island but a conglomeration of a bunch of islands brought together by bridges and that is why there are so many canals.